The Events of the 28th

It was another beautiful day in the Twin Cities. The sun had reached its peak at high noon. If you had been consulting a sundial, it most certainly would have informed you that Least Dangerous Game was ready to begin. Also, that novelty weather forecasting rock you bought in the gift store at Lake Itasca would be telling you that it was clear. Why did you buy that thing anyhow?

Back to the sundials. Don’t think I forgot. Sundials were standing at attention when the first clue went out to Twitter for all would be seekers to see.

East of the river.

Zip codes are getting too confining. I mean, I wasn’t in New York or Wisconsin. Just in St. Paul, a quick hop over the Mississippi River. Granted, I was texting from a gas station, but I was well on my way to hiding. Believe you me. And if anyone guess my locations from that one clue, we would need to burn you as a witch.

Where was I headed after filling my car with long passed dinosaurs? Where else but the Craftstravaganza being held at the Minnesota State Fair grounds? No where else, that’s the answer.

My car entered Dan Patch Avenue fifteen minutes after the game’s start time. It was now safe to play a slightly more specific clue.

Freemasons and Wiccans both practice this.

A quick search of “craft” in Wikipedia shows that Freemasonry and Wicca are both called “the craft.” That’s right, boys and girls. The first clues are going to make you think. Prizes of Girl Scout cookies don’t grow on trees. If they did, I would be giving away something that does not grow on trees. Like love.

Another 15 minutes passed, and the time was again right for another clue.

The industrial revolution nearly destroyed this trade.

The industrial revolution made craft guilds obsolete. The trade of crafting became more of a hobby than an occupation at this time. Don’t feel too bad. People are making good money from pasting the covers of pulp novels onto notebooks and diaries.

It is was now time for my favorite clue of the day.

Find me at the AFAR CZAR ANGST VAT!

What in the world does that mean, you might ask yourself. You would be better off asking me. Don’t worry. I’ll answer you.

“AFAR CZAR ANGST VAT” is an anagram for “Craftstravaganza.” I enjoy the visual image of an angst vat. It seems like a place where emo kids would sulk. Aside from Perkins.

Okay okay. Play time was over. I had circled the craft fair several times, and was becoming dizzy. Partially from the walking and partially from the combined smells of Ben-Gay and the unwashed. There were a lot of old people and hippies there.

$35 for a sock puppet? You have got to be kidding.

Sure, they weren’t exactly sock puppets. They were knit puppets that looked exactly like sock puppets. I think they were called Knuppets. It still made me angry.

As I was driving to the State Fair grounds, I hadn’t seen any signs for the Craftstravaganza. There were signs for the Horse Expo. While sitting outside, the next clue hung heavily in the air.

Blech. I can smell horse all the way over here.

It must have been a race horse expo, because they were sure pooping like it.

Time was still moving forward, like it has a tendency too. 2pm was upon the temporary inhabitants of the craft fair, and more clues were needed to bring a winner to the location.

Nearby, the machines will first take over a hill. Then, the world.

The Craftstravaganza was being held in a building near what is known as Machinery Hill. When the State Fair is actually in progress, the hill is filled with giant green farm equipment. Green in color, not in fuel consumption.

At 2:30pm, the clue that would bring the winner right to me went out.

This isn’t a rough cut art building.

The Fine Arts Building was the location of the Craftstravaganza. Yeah, it wasn’t as tricky as a clue as the first ones, but I was getting tired.

Lucky for me, at 2:35pm, I was found! Alan came upon me at this time, and commented on my hot dog shirt. I was weary at first, as the “crafties” has been commenting on my Threadless t-shirt all day long. But Alan was there for me, and not products made out of hemp!

Alan also received the best time, as he beat last week’s winners by five minutes. Beyond bragging rights, Alan received two prizes!

The prizes were a box of Girl Scout cookies, and a Sur-Prize. Or surprise prize, rather. This mystery prize was $15 to be spent at the Craftstravaganza. It was time for Alan and I, two men who just met, to walk around looking at crafts together. It was unlike any other Saturday anyone else has ever had in the history of the world.

After a few stops, we came upon some really neat coasters. These coasters had pictures of Scrabble pieces on them

Alan was not actually buying the prizes for himself, but for this nephew, Aaron from the trial week of Least Dangerous Game. Aaron seems to be rather obsessed with Totally Scrabble Tuesdays on local cable access. The prize was perfect.

Alan and I headed outside, prizes in hand, when I was found by Paul!

Paul had gotten the message about being found, but was already nearby and wanted to stop by. This is exactly what I wanted from the game. We all stood outside the Craftstravaganza for a good twenty minutes talking about technology this and Minnesota that and sports there and art here. It was a great time with two complete strangers that none of us would have met otherwise.

Week two of Least Dangerous Game came to a close, and I couldn’t be happier. Well, maybe if there were more people I would have been happier. But I shouldn’t look a horse expo horse in the mouth.

It was a great time on a sunny day at a craft fair I never would have gone to if it weren’t for the game. New experiences are out there all around us, and this has been a perfect way to find them.

So come out searching next week, boys and girls! The more, the merrier! Bring your friends. Bring your relatives. Bring your neighbor who says, “Washing your car, huh?” when you are obviously washing your car. Everyone is welcome.